Is it enough to just be me?
With the world seemingly in chaos all around us, it is natural to feel the need to do more. When tragedy happens sending thoughts and prayers can seem, somewhat pointless, like it's not enough. There's a need to do more.
When you hear someone disparaging others, it's natural to want to lash out. When you see a wrong you feel the need to make it right. Just being doesn't feel like enough.
Part of our human nature is to want to do something, we want save the world. I can honestly say I am worried and am constantly looking for ways I can be the change this world needs. We all feel there has to be more we can do.
This is why you see people's passion come out in places like Facebook or Twitter. This pent up frustration of not being able to do more is reflected in anger when driving (road rage), the rise in addictions, anxiety, over eating and illnesses.
We are all being seduced by the need to do more. And frustrated by not knowing what more we can do. We want to be more politically active, to donate more money, to yell and scream our opinion at whoever will listen.
With all of this in mind, I reflect on my mindful practice and teachings. I realize that this pull, this need, is depleting. It causes us to do things irrational, to say things we don't want to say, to do things we wouldn't normally do. We lose our focus and lose control of our balance and I just need to BREATH!
Is sitting in silence, closing my eyes and breathing enough? Meditating on myself seems so selfish in this time. How can I stop worrying, stressing, hurting and striving to do more? How can I just sit and be?
Then I remember. If I am not present, I am not useful. If I am not balanced, I am not healthy. If I don't have peace in my heart how can I be the agent for change for peace in this world?
I have to give myself permission to say it is enough just to be in the moment. I have to give myself permission to find MY balance in this moment.
With that permission I am able to clear my mind from the unrelenting doubt and fear that surrounds me. By saying, this is enough, I give myself the opportunity to realize what I have to offer.
I give myself permission to search my spirit, my mind and my heart in a peaceful way.
I give myself permission to say NO. To say no to the self defeating mind chatter that says I have to do more.
I give myself permission to admit that in this crazy out of control world I am just me. I am good enough being just me. I am flawed and messy, but I care about the people around me, I care for my fellow man and that is sometimes good enough. I don't have to frantically try to be the savior of the world.
I can then look to my self and see that I can offer a peaceful spirit, a motivating thought, an inspirational message. I can offer my true self, from my heart to the world.
I can accept that that there may be NO ONE in this world who reads my message. There may be not one soul who is inspired or driven to self reflection. There may be no one who cares.
In this moment, in my space, I give myself permission to say that's okay. Just be!!!